L'ETNA, IL TEIDE E SINNER

 

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HELLO ETNA, I'VE GOT BAD NEWS FOR YOU: YOU ARE NOT THE "HIGHEST ACTIVE VOLCANO IN EUROPE"   

----  SPAIN'S MOUNT TEIDE IS 3718 m HIGH, THAT IS 300 m MORE THAN YOU, AND SINCE IT LAST ERUPTED IN 1909 AND TODAY IT STILL HAS GOT  STEAM FUMAROLES AND HOT SPOTS... IT IS ACTIVE AND GOT THE RECORD!

ETNA -- ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE SAYING THAT TENNIS NUMBER 1 CHAMPION IS NOT JANNIK SINNER BUT JOHN McENROE, ONLY BECAUSE McENROE WON IT ALL BACK IN 1981 AND TODAY HE SOMETIMES STILL PLAYS TABLE TENNIS WITH HIS OLD AGE COMPANIONS!     (hey, easy with modesty!)

MT TEIDE (in Spanish) --- WELL, BABY, DON'T TAKE IT SO BAD! WHAT ABOUT A REMATCH??

INVIDIOSO E RISTRETTO

 

STROMBOLI MAKES FUN OF ETNA BECAUSE OF THE CROWD AROUND THE ERUPTION WHICH FORCED TO LEGAL RESTRICTIONS AND FORBIDDEN AREAS.

WELL ... HE SOON REALIZES THAT IF THIS HAPPENS, IT MEANS A HUGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE GOING ON ETNA !!! AND THEY DON'T GO TO SEE HIM!

SO, PLEASE, PEOPLE... GO INVADE STROMBOLI AS WELL! GIVE HIM HIS "RESTRICTIONS" AND HIS CROWDS! MAKE HIM A HAPPY AND "RESTRICTED" VOLCANO !!!.....................(though he already is quite a lot restricted in size!!!!)

MAI COME TRUMP

 

VOLCANO MARSILI -- I want the Thyrrenian Sea! I need it for my private security!!

ETNA -- Did you hear it?

STROMBOLI -- Yeah... YUK! he speaks just like Trump!

VOLCANO MARSILI -- Like Trump? Are they really comparing me with that awful orange MAFIA BOSS????....No, I don't want this.............Uhm, hello dear friends. If I will ever come to surface, will you kindly allow me to also enjoy the Thyrrenian Sea, please?

ETNA -- Wow, what a big change! Not even the worst sea monster wants to be like Trump!

CHIEDETEGLI SCUSA

 

ETNA: "MOUNT ETNA IS SCARY"... DID YOU REALLY WRITE THAT?

STROMBOLI: REALLY? DO YOU BELIEVE ETNA IS SCARY?

ETNA: 50% ITALIANS WISH TO HAVE A BEAST LIKE TRUMP AS PRESIDENT, JUSTIFY A MAFIA GANGSTER LIKE PUTIN AND TOLERATE AN ANIMAL SUCH AS NETANYAHU....

STROMBOLI: ...AND IS ETNA THE ONE YOU CONSIDER SCARY?

ETNA: YOU GLORIFY INVASIONS, ATTACKS, BOMBINGS, DEPORTATIONS, GENOCIDES... AND THEN ...

STROMBOLI: ...THEN YOU SAY IT'S VOLCANOES THAT ARE SCARY AND DANGEROUS?

ETNA: YOU MOCK HONEST PEOPLE, DEMOCRACY, LEGAL RIGHTS, HUMAN RIGHTS, YOU PROTECT THIEVES, TERRORISTS, KILLERS.... AND I AM THE DANGER???

STROMBOLI: I MUST TELL YOU ... IF WE VOLCANOES COULD EVER HAVE CHILDREN, WE WOULD NEVER  EVER EVER  LET YOU HUMANS GET CLOSE TO THEM.  SHAME ON YOU ALL.  AND NOW, DO APOLOGIZE !!

HAPPY 2026

 LET'S MAKE BOTTLE CAPS POP !!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2026

VULCANI EUROPEI DESTINATI ALL'ESTINZIONE

 

ST HELENS - ALL THESE STUPID EUROPEAN VOLCANOES SHALL BE EXTINCT VERY SOON

KAMCHATCKA VOLCANOES - DAH, DAH, THE VOLCANOES OF THE YEUROPEAN UNION MUST BE DESTROYED

STROMBOLI - I AM SCARED! ALL THESE MAFIA VOLCANOES THREATENING US ALL THE TIME... WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

ETNA - AHAHAHAHHAHA... ARE YOU SERIOUS? SCARED OF WHAT? DID YOU SEE THEM? THE AMERICAN ONE IS SO OLD AND IDIOT HE ONLY ERUPTS ONCE IN 3 CENTURIES AND CANNOT EVEN RESIST ONE SINGLE ERUPTION WITHOUT COLLAPSING! AND THE RUSSIANS... EVEN WHEN THEY ERUPT, NO ONE CARES!

SCARED OF THEM? REALLY? THE TRUTH IS... THEY ARE THE ONES TO FEAR US EUROPEANS SO MUCH THEY PISS IN THEIR OWN SHOES!

RESURREZIONE!

 

<< AFRICAN VOLCANO MT. HAYLI GUBBI ERUPTS AFTER 12,000 YEARS !! >>

ETNA: WOW....AND I DIDN'T BELIEVE IN THE RESURRECTION OF THE DEAD....!

POSSEDUTA

 

ETNA --- MY TERRITORY IS DIVIDED AMONG DIFFERENT MUNICIPALITIES. I AM NOT JUST "ONE" VOLCANO AND "ONE" MOUNTAIN... I AM A MIX OF MANY ENTITIES.

STROMBOLI --- VADE RETRO, YOU POSSESSED THING!!!!

IL VULCANO IRANIANO

 

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AFTER 700.000 YEARS ASLEEP, THE VOLCANO MT. TAFTAN - IN IRAN - SEEMS TO STARTING WAKE UP!

TAFTAN: YAWWNN.... WHAT IS ALL THIS IMMORAL WORLD, AROUND? MALE VOLCANOES SHOULD ERUPT MORE AND LET THEIR BEARDS GROW... FEMALE VOLCANOES SHOULDN'T ERUPT AT ALL........AND IF THEY MUST DO IT, THEY FIRST ASK PERMISSION TO A MALE VOLCANO...

(STROMBOLI THINKING HE LOVES THIS PART!)

TAFTAN: FEMALE VOLCANOES SHOULD COVER THEMSELVES IN CLOUDS AND NEVER SHOW THEIR CRATERS... OTHERWISE THE "MORAL POLICE" WILL CERTAINLY ....

...WAIT A MINUTE: WHAT'S THIS? TASTES GOOD....YUMM...YUMM....ZZZZZ....

ETNA: THERE YOU ARE! GO TO BED AND SLEEP SOME 700.000 MORE YEARS!

STROMBOLI: ANYWAY, THAT PART SAYING YOU SHOULD ASK PERMISSION TO A MALE VOLCANO .... REALLY ... (I loved it!)

FAMOSETTA E INTELLIGENTE

 

GRAZ - Ok, you have nothing to say?

ETNA - Yeah... I'm waiting for the storm so I'll have a nice shower, and you are bothering. Is that ok?

GRAZ - Nope --- After you took part into ETNA SOCIAL HUB event, you are famous. You must keep your followers' attention high, so you better say something new everyday.

ETNA - Dear followers, I'm going to have a shower under the rain storm...

GRAZ - You are supposed to say something INTELLIGENT...

ETNA - "I support Sumud Flotilla, the climate change must be stopped, it is important to keep the national safety, the number of cardinals at the Vatican's...."

GRAZ - Much better. But try again ...

ETNA - Listen... when politicians will prove they can have more followers than me by saying smart things, then I also will. But now, please, let me have my shower and leave me alone!!

I VULCANI "DI SINISTRA" SONO CATTIVI

 

MARSILI -- Hey, you surface volcanoes... I'm coming! And when I'll come you'll see what can I do. I will break you, cover you in lavas, chase you, hit you, you will repent you even started to erupt....

... I will give you a very bad life, I'll destroy you, kill you, smash you, I'll...

ETNA (IN SICILIAN) -- You know, you fish broth? Now I come and turn you off!

MARSILI -- Did you seeeehhh? How incredibly violent these Left Wing volcanoes aaaareeeh??? I want my mommyyyy!!!!