RESURREZIONE!

 

<< AFRICAN VOLCANO MT. HAYLI GUBBI ERUPTS AFTER 12,000 YEARS !! >>

ETNA: WOW....AND I DIDN'T BELIEVE IN THE RESURRECTION OF THE DEAD....!

POSSEDUTA

 

ETNA --- MY TERRITORY IS DIVIDED AMONG DIFFERENT MUNICIPALITIES. I AM NOT JUST "ONE" VOLCANO AND "ONE" MOUNTAIN... I AM A MIX OF MANY ENTITIES.

STROMBOLI --- VADE RETRO, YOU POSSESSED THING!!!!

IL VULCANO IRANIANO

 

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AFTER 700.000 YEARS ASLEEP, THE VOLCANO MT. TAFTAN - IN IRAN - SEEMS TO STARTING WAKE UP!

TAFTAN: YAWWNN.... WHAT IS ALL THIS IMMORAL WORLD, AROUND? MALE VOLCANOES SHOULD ERUPT MORE AND LET THEIR BEARDS GROW... FEMALE VOLCANOES SHOULDN'T ERUPT AT ALL........AND IF THEY MUST DO IT, THEY FIRST ASK PERMISSION TO A MALE VOLCANO...

(STROMBOLI THINKING HE LOVES THIS PART!)

TAFTAN: FEMALE VOLCANOES SHOULD COVER THEMSELVES IN CLOUDS AND NEVER SHOW THEIR CRATERS... OTHERWISE THE "MORAL POLICE" WILL CERTAINLY ....

...WAIT A MINUTE: WHAT'S THIS? TASTES GOOD....YUMM...YUMM....ZZZZZ....

ETNA: THERE YOU ARE! GO TO BED AND SLEEP SOME 700.000 MORE YEARS!

STROMBOLI: ANYWAY, THAT PART SAYING YOU SHOULD ASK PERMISSION TO A MALE VOLCANO .... REALLY ... (I loved it!)

FAMOSETTA E INTELLIGENTE

 

GRAZ - Ok, you have nothing to say?

ETNA - Yeah... I'm waiting for the storm so I'll have a nice shower, and you are bothering. Is that ok?

GRAZ - Nope --- After you took part into ETNA SOCIAL HUB event, you are famous. You must keep your followers' attention high, so you better say something new everyday.

ETNA - Dear followers, I'm going to have a shower under the rain storm...

GRAZ - You are supposed to say something INTELLIGENT...

ETNA - "I support Sumud Flotilla, the climate change must be stopped, it is important to keep the national safety, the number of cardinals at the Vatican's...."

GRAZ - Much better. But try again ...

ETNA - Listen... when politicians will prove they can have more followers than me by saying smart things, then I also will. But now, please, let me have my shower and leave me alone!!

I VULCANI "DI SINISTRA" SONO CATTIVI

 

MARSILI -- Hey, you surface volcanoes... I'm coming! And when I'll come you'll see what can I do. I will break you, cover you in lavas, chase you, hit you, you will repent you even started to erupt....

... I will give you a very bad life, I'll destroy you, kill you, smash you, I'll...

ETNA (IN SICILIAN) -- You know, you fish broth? Now I come and turn you off!

MARSILI -- Did you seeeehhh? How incredibly violent these Left Wing volcanoes aaaareeeh??? I want my mommyyyy!!!!

FORSE ERA TROPPO POCO

 

ETNA - The psycho president of the USA uses his friend's death to start violence against his political rivals... the nazi Russian dictator attacks everyone and then says it's them who want the war... a holocaus survivor murders 10 times more than his own murderers... the catholic "pro life" wishes gay people die... Novax conspiracists ask for sympathy but they won't give anyone it ....

STROMBOLI - The more I know humans, the more I feel lucky to be born a volcano. What do you think, Grandpa?

VESUVIUS - Guys... I'd always thought it was too much destroying Ercolano and Pompei. But since I see all this sh*t around, perhaps it wasn't much enough!

ADESSO SCENDO

 

ETNA - why are you all so sad

PEOPLE - It's because of the warnings, and the forbidden areas... they won't let us come to see you

ETNA - How do they dare keeping my people off?

PEOPLE - Go! Tell 'em!

ETNA - Well, if they won't let you come up... I will go down. Now I will open a series of nice craters below 1000 meters and so they wi....

PEOPLE - NO!

ETNA   - Ok, guys... never mind!

FREE PALESTINE

 

FUOCO, SCIARA, NEVE E BOSCO...

FIRE, COLD LAVAS, SNOW AND WOODS

L'ARMA NUCLEARE SOMMERSA - UNDERWATER NUCLEAR WEAPON

 

MARSILI:   -  ... AND YOU WERE LUCKY, TOO, BECAUSE TODAY I AM NOT PISSED OFF!

NON MI VENDO

 

TRUMP: hey volcana, I've just bought the EU, Scotland and planning to buy Greenland soon. But I also want you as my private spa. What is your cost? How much?

ETNA: "Howmuch-a" this bunch of lapilli, man! You won't buy me!

TRUMP: Everyone is for sale. How much do you want? 10 millions? 5 billions? 200 billions?

ETNA: ok, if you must ... you can have me if you give me that expired herbicide you splat on your face so to make it orange!

TRUMP: what?? no, no, I really need that color... I won't give it away, not even for saving my life. How would I look so tanned, then???

ETNA: DON'T WORRY, I'LL MANAGE TO TAN YOU PROPERLY!

TRUMP (RUNNING AWAY): - Hey Giorgia, daddy here... listen... I'm not interested in the spa anymore. I'll think about pilates, maybe, or bingo.... yeah, let's see... I better go...

ETNA: DON'T LET ANYONE BUY YOU. NEVER.

LEONI O SCOGLIAZZI ?

 

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- You see? Web Lions, or " #haters " are just like that... They threaten, bark, roar, they feel so very much like great volcanoes, and they are nothing but STUPID PIER ROCKS, instead!