I VULCANI "DI SINISTRA" SONO CATTIVI

 

MARSILI -- Hey, you surface volcanoes... I'm coming! And when I'll come you'll see what can I do. I will break you, cover you in lavas, chase you, hit you, you will repent you even started to erupt....

... I will give you a very bad life, I'll destroy you, kill you, smash you, I'll...

ETNA (IN SICILIAN) -- You know, you fish broth? Now I come and turn you off!

MARSILI -- Did you seeeehhh? How incredibly violent these Left Wing volcanoes aaaareeeh??? I want my mommyyyy!!!!

FORSE ERA TROPPO POCO

 

ETNA - The psycho president of the USA uses his friend's death to start violence against his political rivals... the nazi Russian dictator attacks everyone and then says it's them who want the war... a holocaus survivor murders 10 times more than his own murderers... the catholic "pro life" wishes gay people die... Novax conspiracists ask for sympathy but they won't give anyone it ....

STROMBOLI - The more I know humans, the more I feel lucky to be born a volcano. What do you think, Grandpa?

VESUVIUS - Guys... I'd always thought it was too much destroying Ercolano and Pompei. But since I see all this sh*t around, perhaps it wasn't much enough!

ADESSO SCENDO

 

ETNA - why are you all so sad

PEOPLE - It's because of the warnings, and the forbidden areas... they won't let us come to see you

ETNA - How do they dare keeping my people off?

PEOPLE - Go! Tell 'em!

ETNA - Well, if they won't let you come up... I will go down. Now I will open a series of nice craters below 1000 meters and so they wi....

PEOPLE - NO!

ETNA   - Ok, guys... never mind!

FREE PALESTINE

 

FUOCO, SCIARA, NEVE E BOSCO...

FIRE, COLD LAVAS, SNOW AND WOODS

L'ARMA NUCLEARE SOMMERSA - UNDERWATER NUCLEAR WEAPON

 

MARSILI:   -  ... AND YOU WERE LUCKY, TOO, BECAUSE TODAY I AM NOT PISSED OFF!

NON MI VENDO

 

TRUMP: hey volcana, I've just bought the EU, Scotland and planning to buy Greenland soon. But I also want you as my private spa. What is your cost? How much?

ETNA: "Howmuch-a" this bunch of lapilli, man! You won't buy me!

TRUMP: Everyone is for sale. How much do you want? 10 millions? 5 billions? 200 billions?

ETNA: ok, if you must ... you can have me if you give me that expired herbicide you splat on your face so to make it orange!

TRUMP: what?? no, no, I really need that color... I won't give it away, not even for saving my life. How would I look so tanned, then???

ETNA: DON'T WORRY, I'LL MANAGE TO TAN YOU PROPERLY!

TRUMP (RUNNING AWAY): - Hey Giorgia, daddy here... listen... I'm not interested in the spa anymore. I'll think about pilates, maybe, or bingo.... yeah, let's see... I better go...

ETNA: DON'T LET ANYONE BUY YOU. NEVER.

LEONI O SCOGLIAZZI ?

 

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- You see? Web Lions, or " #haters " are just like that... They threaten, bark, roar, they feel so very much like great volcanoes, and they are nothing but STUPID PIER ROCKS, instead!

TI ESSE O

 

The alert system applied to Mt Etna will now monitor also the danger levels in the event of a summit lava fountains eruption with three levels: zero Fountain Alert, one Fountain Alert, two Fountain Alert.

The opinion of Stromboli is: Oh, at last! They decided to put you under compulsory psychiatric treatment

BALLE DI SINISTRA

 

HOW CAN I EXPLAIN.... ALL OF YOU WHO SAY "CLIMATE CHANGE IS JUST WOKE BULLS**T BECAUSE HEAT AND COLD HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE", YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND IT IS NOT THE SINGLE DATUM, IT IS ABOUT A TOTAL, GENERAL, SLOW CHANGE.

SAY, VOLCANIC ERUPTION TOO... THEY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE. 

BUT I WASN'T.

AND WHEN, 500.000 YEARS AGO, SOMEONE SAID THAT SO MANY ERUPTION WOULD MAKE ME RISE AND GROW, I BET THERE WERE PEOPLE WHO ALSO THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ANOTHER "WOKE BULLS**T"!!

CI SONO BLOCCHI E BLOCCHI

 

STROMBOLI: did you hear that? a very rich human, today, has blocked a whole city just to celebrate his wedding!

ETNA: so what? If I want, I can block cities, airports and regions by remaining a single and living on bread and onions!

LIFTING

 

IT'S NOT BECAUSE I WANT THE ACCESS TO MY TOP PROHIBITED, DURING THE ERUPTIONS, BUT .....

... HAVING HERE 1000 PEOPLE PER DAY TAKING PHOTOS WHILE I AM DOING MY FACE LIFTING IT'S A BIT BOTHERING, YOU KNOW. DON'T I HAVE MY RIGHT TO PRIVACY?

(well, if you are a VIP....no!)

(