LA GUERRA DEI COGLIONI

 

STROMBOLI: - Are they new volcanoes erupting?

ETNA:             - No! Same old dick-head humans fighting!

FOLLOW ME

 

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ETNA -- HEY, YOU MUST UPDATE YOUR INSTAGRAM AND BLOG. DO YOU HEAR ME?

DO IT NOW, OR YOUR FOLLOWERS WON'T FOLLOW ANYMORE.

(CARTOONIST SLEEPING HAPPILY)

....AND IT IS USELESS TO COUNT THEM LIKE SHEEP.

LOOK! LOOK WHERE THEY ARE GOING, ALL OF THEM!

STROMBOLI -- YEAH, COME! COME HERE, YOU DADDY'S KIDS!

PERSI (TOTALI) NELLA NEVE

 

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GUY IN THE CAR 1 -- Hey... we climbed up here like idiots

     (you said it, bro!)

...... ended up in a tons of snow and WHERE IS THIS ETNA???

GUY IN THE CAR 2 -- Yeah... where is this Etna?

ETNA -- Yeah... where am I?

L'ETNA, IL TEIDE E SINNER

 

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HELLO ETNA, I'VE GOT BAD NEWS FOR YOU: YOU ARE NOT THE "HIGHEST ACTIVE VOLCANO IN EUROPE"   

----  SPAIN'S MOUNT TEIDE IS 3718 m HIGH, THAT IS 300 m MORE THAN YOU, AND SINCE IT LAST ERUPTED IN 1909 AND TODAY IT STILL HAS GOT  STEAM FUMAROLES AND HOT SPOTS... IT IS ACTIVE AND GOT THE RECORD!

ETNA -- ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE SAYING THAT TENNIS NUMBER 1 CHAMPION IS NOT JANNIK SINNER BUT JOHN McENROE, ONLY BECAUSE McENROE WON IT ALL BACK IN 1981 AND TODAY HE SOMETIMES STILL PLAYS TABLE TENNIS WITH HIS OLD AGE COMPANIONS!     (hey, easy with modesty!)

MT TEIDE (in Spanish) --- WELL, BABY, DON'T TAKE IT SO BAD! WHAT ABOUT A REMATCH??

INVIDIOSO E RISTRETTO

 

STROMBOLI MAKES FUN OF ETNA BECAUSE OF THE CROWD AROUND THE ERUPTION WHICH FORCED TO LEGAL RESTRICTIONS AND FORBIDDEN AREAS.

WELL ... HE SOON REALIZES THAT IF THIS HAPPENS, IT MEANS A HUGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE GOING ON ETNA !!! AND THEY DON'T GO TO SEE HIM!

SO, PLEASE, PEOPLE... GO INVADE STROMBOLI AS WELL! GIVE HIM HIS "RESTRICTIONS" AND HIS CROWDS! MAKE HIM A HAPPY AND "RESTRICTED" VOLCANO !!!.....................(though he already is quite a lot restricted in size!!!!)

MAI COME TRUMP

 

VOLCANO MARSILI -- I want the Thyrrenian Sea! I need it for my private security!!

ETNA -- Did you hear it?

STROMBOLI -- Yeah... YUK! he speaks just like Trump!

VOLCANO MARSILI -- Like Trump? Are they really comparing me with that awful orange MAFIA BOSS????....No, I don't want this.............Uhm, hello dear friends. If I will ever come to surface, will you kindly allow me to also enjoy the Thyrrenian Sea, please?

ETNA -- Wow, what a big change! Not even the worst sea monster wants to be like Trump!

CHIEDETEGLI SCUSA

 

ETNA: "MOUNT ETNA IS SCARY"... DID YOU REALLY WRITE THAT?

STROMBOLI: REALLY? DO YOU BELIEVE ETNA IS SCARY?

ETNA: 50% ITALIANS WISH TO HAVE A BEAST LIKE TRUMP AS PRESIDENT, JUSTIFY A MAFIA GANGSTER LIKE PUTIN AND TOLERATE AN ANIMAL SUCH AS NETANYAHU....

STROMBOLI: ...AND IS ETNA THE ONE YOU CONSIDER SCARY?

ETNA: YOU GLORIFY INVASIONS, ATTACKS, BOMBINGS, DEPORTATIONS, GENOCIDES... AND THEN ...

STROMBOLI: ...THEN YOU SAY IT'S VOLCANOES THAT ARE SCARY AND DANGEROUS?

ETNA: YOU MOCK HONEST PEOPLE, DEMOCRACY, LEGAL RIGHTS, HUMAN RIGHTS, YOU PROTECT THIEVES, TERRORISTS, KILLERS.... AND I AM THE DANGER???

STROMBOLI: I MUST TELL YOU ... IF WE VOLCANOES COULD EVER HAVE CHILDREN, WE WOULD NEVER  EVER EVER  LET YOU HUMANS GET CLOSE TO THEM.  SHAME ON YOU ALL.  AND NOW, DO APOLOGIZE !!

HAPPY 2026

 LET'S MAKE BOTTLE CAPS POP !!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2026

VULCANI EUROPEI DESTINATI ALL'ESTINZIONE

 

ST HELENS - ALL THESE STUPID EUROPEAN VOLCANOES SHALL BE EXTINCT VERY SOON

KAMCHATCKA VOLCANOES - DAH, DAH, THE VOLCANOES OF THE YEUROPEAN UNION MUST BE DESTROYED

STROMBOLI - I AM SCARED! ALL THESE MAFIA VOLCANOES THREATENING US ALL THE TIME... WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

ETNA - AHAHAHAHHAHA... ARE YOU SERIOUS? SCARED OF WHAT? DID YOU SEE THEM? THE AMERICAN ONE IS SO OLD AND IDIOT HE ONLY ERUPTS ONCE IN 3 CENTURIES AND CANNOT EVEN RESIST ONE SINGLE ERUPTION WITHOUT COLLAPSING! AND THE RUSSIANS... EVEN WHEN THEY ERUPT, NO ONE CARES!

SCARED OF THEM? REALLY? THE TRUTH IS... THEY ARE THE ONES TO FEAR US EUROPEANS SO MUCH THEY PISS IN THEIR OWN SHOES!

RESURREZIONE!

 

<< AFRICAN VOLCANO MT. HAYLI GUBBI ERUPTS AFTER 12,000 YEARS !! >>

ETNA: WOW....AND I DIDN'T BELIEVE IN THE RESURRECTION OF THE DEAD....!

POSSEDUTA

 

ETNA --- MY TERRITORY IS DIVIDED AMONG DIFFERENT MUNICIPALITIES. I AM NOT JUST "ONE" VOLCANO AND "ONE" MOUNTAIN... I AM A MIX OF MANY ENTITIES.

STROMBOLI --- VADE RETRO, YOU POSSESSED THING!!!!