UNA DI NOI

 

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VOLCANOLOGIST: So, we found out something interesting about Mt Etna's origins. In a few words, according to its position ........the kind of material it erupts and how it erupts it... we can say it started as many other..........SMALL SUBMERGED VOLCANOES start!

You are a LOVELY, SMALL VOLCANO that came too much out of the sea!

SMALL VOLCANOES: She's one of us! Yeah! She's a dwarf and one of us ! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

L'ETNA, IL TEIDE E SINNER

 

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HELLO ETNA, I'VE GOT BAD NEWS FOR YOU: YOU ARE NOT THE "HIGHEST ACTIVE VOLCANO IN EUROPE"   

----  SPAIN'S MOUNT TEIDE IS 3718 m HIGH, THAT IS 300 m MORE THAN YOU, AND SINCE IT LAST ERUPTED IN 1909 AND TODAY IT STILL HAS GOT  STEAM FUMAROLES AND HOT SPOTS... IT IS ACTIVE AND GOT THE RECORD!

ETNA -- ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE SAYING THAT TENNIS NUMBER 1 CHAMPION IS NOT JANNIK SINNER BUT JOHN McENROE, ONLY BECAUSE McENROE WON IT ALL BACK IN 1981 AND TODAY HE SOMETIMES STILL PLAYS TABLE TENNIS WITH HIS OLD AGE COMPANIONS!     (hey, easy with modesty!)

MT TEIDE (in Spanish) --- WELL, BABY, DON'T TAKE IT SO BAD! WHAT ABOUT A REMATCH??

MAI COME TRUMP

 

VOLCANO MARSILI -- I want the Thyrrenian Sea! I need it for my private security!!

ETNA -- Did you hear it?

STROMBOLI -- Yeah... YUK! he speaks just like Trump!

VOLCANO MARSILI -- Like Trump? Are they really comparing me with that awful orange MAFIA BOSS????....No, I don't want this.............Uhm, hello dear friends. If I will ever come to surface, will you kindly allow me to also enjoy the Thyrrenian Sea, please?

ETNA -- Wow, what a big change! Not even the worst sea monster wants to be like Trump!

RESURREZIONE!

 

<< AFRICAN VOLCANO MT. HAYLI GUBBI ERUPTS AFTER 12,000 YEARS !! >>

ETNA: WOW....AND I DIDN'T BELIEVE IN THE RESURRECTION OF THE DEAD....!

IL VULCANO IRANIANO

 

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AFTER 700.000 YEARS ASLEEP, THE VOLCANO MT. TAFTAN - IN IRAN - SEEMS TO STARTING WAKE UP!

TAFTAN: YAWWNN.... WHAT IS ALL THIS IMMORAL WORLD, AROUND? MALE VOLCANOES SHOULD ERUPT MORE AND LET THEIR BEARDS GROW... FEMALE VOLCANOES SHOULDN'T ERUPT AT ALL........AND IF THEY MUST DO IT, THEY FIRST ASK PERMISSION TO A MALE VOLCANO...

(STROMBOLI THINKING HE LOVES THIS PART!)

TAFTAN: FEMALE VOLCANOES SHOULD COVER THEMSELVES IN CLOUDS AND NEVER SHOW THEIR CRATERS... OTHERWISE THE "MORAL POLICE" WILL CERTAINLY ....

...WAIT A MINUTE: WHAT'S THIS? TASTES GOOD....YUMM...YUMM....ZZZZZ....

ETNA: THERE YOU ARE! GO TO BED AND SLEEP SOME 700.000 MORE YEARS!

STROMBOLI: ANYWAY, THAT PART SAYING YOU SHOULD ASK PERMISSION TO A MALE VOLCANO .... REALLY ... (I loved it!)

I VULCANI "DI SINISTRA" SONO CATTIVI

 

MARSILI -- Hey, you surface volcanoes... I'm coming! And when I'll come you'll see what can I do. I will break you, cover you in lavas, chase you, hit you, you will repent you even started to erupt....

... I will give you a very bad life, I'll destroy you, kill you, smash you, I'll...

ETNA (IN SICILIAN) -- You know, you fish broth? Now I come and turn you off!

MARSILI -- Did you seeeehhh? How incredibly violent these Left Wing volcanoes aaaareeeh??? I want my mommyyyy!!!!

MBARE, PIDDAVERU...?

 

KILAUEA - Make Kilauea Great Again... see? I made a super lava fountain, 300 meters high!

ETNA - Geez, mate... rrrreally? (showing its over-1000 meters high fountain of year 2021) Am I supposed to say "bravo"??

MARSILI, NON C'E' BISOGNO DI TE...

MARSILI:

- Ok, let's get out of the sea and see if....

                           ==  ???!!! ==

- Nope... they DEFINITELY don't need me. With those guys around, they will destroy themselves in a very short time....
 

L'ISLANDESE CATTIVO

 

🇬🇧

- Etna: how can you do that? If I only try, my people will make me regret being born. Your people don't say anything at all?

Icelandic Volcano: People...? WHAT people? hahahahaah😈

CLIMATE CHANGE

 

(NICE PANTIES, ETNA....UHM...!)

WHERE DID THEY FIND SUCH ENORMOUS LEAVES???

LA STELLA CADENTE... ANZI NO!

 

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Stromboli: - Make me become much higher than Etna!

Marsili:    - Help me to come out of the sea and become a God!

ETNA:    - Uuuhmm... sorry to disappoint you, but... the Atlas is a comet, not a falling star. It will never "fall" and your wishes will never come true. Waste of time, mates!!!

SFIGHISSIMAAAA !!!!

 

WHEN you look around... and all is calm....everyone is asleep ... so finally it's time FOR YOU, STROMBOLI "THE BEAST", to be the main and only protagonist!

But suddenly ...

There the great Icelandic volcano goes back on eruption again!!

Oh noooo!!! Game over!!!

BASTA BULLIZZARE VULCANO

 

STOP BULLYING VULCANO !!!

VULCANO: <<<< ENOUGH! I'M TIRED TO BE REMEMBERED ONLY FOR SULPHUR SMELLING... THAT IS NOT NICE!

I AM ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ISLANDS IN THE MEDITERRANEAN, MY SULPHUR IS PART OF THE THERMAL BATHS THAT HELP  YOU FEEL GOOD AND CURED. I HAVE LOVELY BEACHES, GREAT SEA, NICE PEOPLE LIVING ON ME... I AM SO MANY BEAUTIFUL THINGS! WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHAT DO YOU HAVE WHICH I DO NOT? >>>>

ETNA: A FEW THOUSAND METERS MORE

SALINA: BIG BOOBS

LIPARI: PUMICE STONE

STROMBOLI: LAVA FOUNTAINS

IL VESUVIO ESORCIZZA I CAMPI FLEGREI

 

VESUVIUS SINGS A TYPICAL NEAPOLITAN MAGIC FORMULA AGAINST CAMPI FLEGREI'S BRAND NEW SEISMIC CRISIS!

POLITICALLY (S)CORRECT

 

STROMBOLI: it is your fault. You never erupt, you sleep all the time and cartoonist don't know what to talk about, in their cartoon. (though there is me who could be enough)

ETNA : nonsense! there are so many things you can make a cartoon about. Like.. the movement of the tremor graphs?

STROMBOLI: naaah... they could think the waves of the graph indicate the "like index" of the political parties. ETNA: the color of my debris clouds? STR: nope, because if they are black you may sound racist, if they are red you could be a communist!

E: the cartoon could tell about me being the most active she-volcano.

S: no, you will be compared to Giorgia Meloni

E: me being the most active mr volcano?

S: mister, miss... omosex... people don't like this subject

E: me stealing the scene to you smaller volcanoes?

S: no way at all! stealing reminds of some facts connected to others that...

VESUVIUS: well, the cartoon could be about me. While you chat about nothing, me and the Campi Flegrei are having quite fun! Though we are a minority population, we...

ETNA AND STROMBOLI: oh, shut up! you said "minority"?? don't say that, or they will think this is a political cartoon!!!

BIANCA-ETNA E I 700 NANI

 

THREE MORE SUBMERGED VOLCANOES HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED OFF THE SOUTHERN COAST OF SICILY !!! They join  9 volcanoes already recorded in the seabed around the island in past years.

ETNA: -- I FEEL SO MUCH LIKE "SNOW WHITE" THESE DAYS...

(of course the volcanoes' names have been changed so to sound like the Seven Dwarves ones!)

VULCANO NON ESISTE!

 

ETNA - And they say there here is no climate change, there is no round Earth, there is no holocaust...

STROMBOLI - and they also say  Covid did not exist, man on the moon did not exist, mafia victims did not exist...

VULCANO - I really don't understand the people... I bet soon they will say I DO NOT exist either!

ETNA AND STROMBOLI - Did you hear this sound? Was it you? .... No I didn't say a word.... But I heard something .... I heard nothing at all, who should have spoken? .... Dunno....well, never mind...

TROPPO CALDO PURE PER LA LAVA

 

.............. GOOD LORD, IT'S SO HOT OUT HERE !!!!.................

CHECCO

 

KISSING GOODBYE ....

FRANCESCO "CHECCO" NUTI.

GREAT POET, ACTOR AND DIRECTOR.

GREAT MAN.

IL PONTE DEL MARSILI

 

MARSILI VOLCANO -- A BRIDGE OVER MESSINA STRAIT? NO PROBLEM, I SHALL MAKE IT IN HALF-AN-HOUR ..........

(SMART-HEAD) MINISTER -- OH REALLY, MISTER ENGINEER ???