PADRE, PERDONA LORO ...

 

STROMBOLI:  -- At last, you September tourists! Since Etna's gone back to sleep, now you can enjoy my greatness !

TOURISTS:   -- Are you kidding us? How boring! You always do the same stupid things, small eruptions every 20 minutes or so... we want more!

We want paroxysms, flank vents, pyroclastic streams, crowds in Valle del Bove, cars parked in the middle of the street, guides cursing, rangers chasing photographers everywhere, the lady in her elegant dress pretending to climb the rocky path...... and the stupid American guy who walks on the hot rocks with summer shoes, influencers taking selfies on the crater's edge as it collapses... cooking sausages in sulphur....

STROMBOLI:  -- Oh, Hephaestus... forgive them because they really do not know what they're talking about !

L'ETNA DEI RICCHI

 

DANY (former Minister of Tourism and rich wife of a very rich man): --- HELLO DARLING, IT'S DANY... I THIN YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I WANT YOU TO BE MY BRAND NEW SUPER-LUXURY EMPIRE. I WANT TO BUILD HERE ... YOU KNOW... GLAMPING, EXISTENTIAL SPA, BOUTIQUE HOTEL... WHATEVER... SOME 3000 EUROS PER NIGHT, YOU UNDERSTAND?

ETNA  --- OK BUT WHY DON'T YOU TRY WITH STROMBOLI FIRST?

DANY --- WHO... THIS DWARF OVER THERE, WHO HARDLY COMES OUT OF THE FOG? MY BATHROOM IS TWICE AS LARGER!

NO, BABY, I WANT YOU. SO NOW TELL ME, PLEASE, WHERE CAN I START BUILDING MY SUPER-LUXURY STRUCTURES!

ETNA --- OK, WRITE DOWN... THE PLACE IS CALLED <<PERNICANA FAULT>>... VERY NICE, ON MY NORTH FLANK, WITH A VIEW OVER TAORMINA  

DANY --- WOW, GREAT, LET ME WRITE: PER-NI-CA-NA---NORTH...

SILENCE, PLEASE!

 

ME:  SO, WHAT IS THIS SILENCE, SUDDENLY?

.......... DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY AT ALL?

ETNA: ARE YOU SURE YOU REALLY WANT ME TO "SAY" SOMETHING?

----THINKING ABOUT ALL THE TROUBLE FROM LAST ERUPTION------

ME: UHMMM....NOOOPE!

ETNA: "M'AVA PASSU" (sicilian: I THINK I MISUNDERSTOOD)

INVIDIA DEL PLUME

 

L'ETNA E' NEL PIENO DI UNA MEGA ERUZIONE SPETTACOLARE CHE DURA DA SETTIMANE E ATTIRA MIGLIAIA DI TURISTI.

E STROMBOLINO, POVERINO.............?

E' DALLO PSICANALISTA A CURARE L'INVIDIA PER CIO' CHE LUI NON SA PRODURRE: I MEGA PLUMES (le colonne di cenere giganti) !

ETNA IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SPECTACULAR MEGA ERUPTION THAT HAS LASTED FOR WEEKS AND ATTRACTS THOUSANDS OF TOURISTS.

AND WHAT ABOUT LITTLE STROMBOLI, POOR THING.............?

HE'S AT THE PSYCHOANALYST'S TO TREAT HIS ENVY FOR WHAT HE CAN'T PRODUCE: THE MEGA PLUMES (giant columns of ash)!

SEXY RED

 

STROMBOLI --- HEY, IT'S NOT NEW YEAR'S EVE... CHANGE THAT RED UNDERWEAR, YOU SHAMELESS!

ETNA --- ENVY, HUH??

Eruzione Etna 6 agosto 2026

Etna eruption aug. 6th

AMORE NON CORRISPOSTO

 

ETNA LOVES US SO VERY MUCH.... SHE DOESN'T WANT US TO LEAVE!!!!

REMIGRA STO CAxxx

 

ETNA -- Hey, I don't want you to steal other people's job

STROMBOLI -- Is it my fault if you don't want to be a volcano anymore while I still do?

ETNA -- Besides, you are the only one who takes his magma from the African plate

STROMBOLI -- So what?

ETNA -- So... REMIGRATION!

STROMBOLI -- Fine! I will "remigrate" anywhere you like, if you start a super eruption right now... I mean, immediately.

ETNA  .......

STROMBOLI -- So? I'm waiting for it.......

QUATTRO LETTERE

 

ME: <<LISTEN, BABY...HURRY UP AND DO SOMETHING, AT LAST!

I MUST WRITE ABOUT YOU, FOR MY JOB, AND MUST DRAW CARTOONS ABOUT YOU TOO, BUT YOU WON'T GIVE ME ANY INSPIRATION. I DON'T KNOW... ERUPT! THROW ASH! BOOM! DRAW GAS RINGS ... GIVE ME ANY REASON TO TELL ABOUT YOU!>>

ETNA: <<SYNONYM FOR MONOTONY AND LACK OF ACTIVITY: 4 LETTERS>>

ME:    <<ETNA>>

NOZZE DI LAVA

 

1  WHEN YOU SEE HER FOR THE FIRST TIME................

2  .........  AFTER 30 YEARS MARRIED !

UNA DI NOI

 

------------------------------------

VOLCANOLOGIST: So, we found out something interesting about Mt Etna's origins. In a few words, according to its position ........the kind of material it erupts and how it erupts it... we can say it started as many other..........SMALL SUBMERGED VOLCANOES start!

You are a LOVELY, SMALL VOLCANO that came too much out of the sea!

SMALL VOLCANOES: She's one of us! Yeah! She's a dwarf and one of us ! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

PREGHIERA INFINITA

 

ETNA:

<< UHM, LISTEN... ALL THOSE WHO STARTED PRAYING GOD, LAST YEAR,  ASKING HIM TO STOP THE DROUGHT, IN SICILY ... WELL...COULD YOU, PLEASE ... HAVE A COFFEE BREAK, NOW, PERHAPS???>>

TANTA NEVE NON FA PRIMAVERA

 

ETNA: oh oh oh, merry christmas

STROMBOLI: it's almost Easter! Maybe you are happy with this eternal snow, but in the meantime Spring time has come!--------Here, swallow, you tell her! She won't believe me.

SWALLOW BIRD: What Spring?! Where? I am going back south, to Morocco, MASH'ALLAH!!!

LA GUERRA DEI COGLIONI

 

STROMBOLI: - Are they new volcanoes erupting?

ETNA:             - No! Same old dick-head humans fighting!

FOLLOW ME

 

---------------------------------

ETNA -- HEY, YOU MUST UPDATE YOUR INSTAGRAM AND BLOG. DO YOU HEAR ME?

DO IT NOW, OR YOUR FOLLOWERS WON'T FOLLOW ANYMORE.

(CARTOONIST SLEEPING HAPPILY)

....AND IT IS USELESS TO COUNT THEM LIKE SHEEP.

LOOK! LOOK WHERE THEY ARE GOING, ALL OF THEM!

STROMBOLI -- YEAH, COME! COME HERE, YOU DADDY'S KIDS!

PERSI (TOTALI) NELLA NEVE

 

--------------------------

GUY IN THE CAR 1 -- Hey... we climbed up here like idiots

     (you said it, bro!)

...... ended up in a tons of snow and WHERE IS THIS ETNA???

GUY IN THE CAR 2 -- Yeah... where is this Etna?

ETNA -- Yeah... where am I?

L'ETNA, IL TEIDE E SINNER

 

--------------------------- 

HELLO ETNA, I'VE GOT BAD NEWS FOR YOU: YOU ARE NOT THE "HIGHEST ACTIVE VOLCANO IN EUROPE"   

----  SPAIN'S MOUNT TEIDE IS 3718 m HIGH, THAT IS 300 m MORE THAN YOU, AND SINCE IT LAST ERUPTED IN 1909 AND TODAY IT STILL HAS GOT  STEAM FUMAROLES AND HOT SPOTS... IT IS ACTIVE AND GOT THE RECORD!

ETNA -- ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE SAYING THAT TENNIS NUMBER 1 CHAMPION IS NOT JANNIK SINNER BUT JOHN McENROE, ONLY BECAUSE McENROE WON IT ALL BACK IN 1981 AND TODAY HE SOMETIMES STILL PLAYS TABLE TENNIS WITH HIS OLD AGE COMPANIONS!     (hey, easy with modesty!)

MT TEIDE (in Spanish) --- WELL, BABY, DON'T TAKE IT SO BAD! WHAT ABOUT A REMATCH??

INVIDIOSO E RISTRETTO

 

STROMBOLI MAKES FUN OF ETNA BECAUSE OF THE CROWD AROUND THE ERUPTION WHICH FORCED TO LEGAL RESTRICTIONS AND FORBIDDEN AREAS.

WELL ... HE SOON REALIZES THAT IF THIS HAPPENS, IT MEANS A HUGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE GOING ON ETNA !!! AND THEY DON'T GO TO SEE HIM!

SO, PLEASE, PEOPLE... GO INVADE STROMBOLI AS WELL! GIVE HIM HIS "RESTRICTIONS" AND HIS CROWDS! MAKE HIM A HAPPY AND "RESTRICTED" VOLCANO !!!.....................(though he already is quite a lot restricted in size!!!!)

MAI COME TRUMP

 

VOLCANO MARSILI -- I want the Thyrrenian Sea! I need it for my private security!!

ETNA -- Did you hear it?

STROMBOLI -- Yeah... YUK! he speaks just like Trump!

VOLCANO MARSILI -- Like Trump? Are they really comparing me with that awful orange MAFIA BOSS????....No, I don't want this.............Uhm, hello dear friends. If I will ever come to surface, will you kindly allow me to also enjoy the Thyrrenian Sea, please?

ETNA -- Wow, what a big change! Not even the worst sea monster wants to be like Trump!

CHIEDETEGLI SCUSA

 

ETNA: "MOUNT ETNA IS SCARY"... DID YOU REALLY WRITE THAT?

STROMBOLI: REALLY? DO YOU BELIEVE ETNA IS SCARY?

ETNA: 50% ITALIANS WISH TO HAVE A BEAST LIKE TRUMP AS PRESIDENT, JUSTIFY A MAFIA GANGSTER LIKE PUTIN AND TOLERATE AN ANIMAL SUCH AS NETANYAHU....

STROMBOLI: ...AND IS ETNA THE ONE YOU CONSIDER SCARY?

ETNA: YOU GLORIFY INVASIONS, ATTACKS, BOMBINGS, DEPORTATIONS, GENOCIDES... AND THEN ...

STROMBOLI: ...THEN YOU SAY IT'S VOLCANOES THAT ARE SCARY AND DANGEROUS?

ETNA: YOU MOCK HONEST PEOPLE, DEMOCRACY, LEGAL RIGHTS, HUMAN RIGHTS, YOU PROTECT THIEVES, TERRORISTS, KILLERS.... AND I AM THE DANGER???

STROMBOLI: I MUST TELL YOU ... IF WE VOLCANOES COULD EVER HAVE CHILDREN, WE WOULD NEVER  EVER EVER  LET YOU HUMANS GET CLOSE TO THEM.  SHAME ON YOU ALL.  AND NOW, DO APOLOGIZE !!

HAPPY 2026

 LET'S MAKE BOTTLE CAPS POP !!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2026